Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
