Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize