I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
