singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
