it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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