I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
