3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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