is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
