I smell stomach acid.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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