Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

(650): View more from California

nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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(248): View more from Michigan

I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You tried to poop in the sink last night.

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(630): View more from Illinois

We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough

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(402): View more from Nebraska

We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.

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(540): View more from Virginia

'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"

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(916): View more from California

Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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(870): View more from Arkansas

too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.

(870): View more from Arkansas

Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?

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