Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
