conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
