He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
