tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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