K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
