he wants to bone in the snuggie
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
