How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I love you. Go after that dick
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
