That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
