the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
