idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
