Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
