Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
