New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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