I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
