I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize