she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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