I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize