go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He shit in the fireplace
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
