Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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