hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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