She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
