I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
