I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he shaved USA in his pubs
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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