We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
