then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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