Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We left the knife in your bed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
