Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
