yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
