All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
