so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
