I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
