my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
