I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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