Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
