I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
