Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
