Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
