I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
