My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
