to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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