I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Randomize
