It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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