a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
if only i could text you this smell
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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