So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
