look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
