I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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