Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
