I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
