dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
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