Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
