i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Less talking, more tequila
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
