I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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