Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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