That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
