it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
