just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
