sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
