Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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